SCRAPERAGE

Underpaid IT Engineer Gets Into A Fist Fight Over The Differences Between A Subaru BRZ And A Scion FRS With A Man That Didn’t Care

A Seattle man was charged with aggravated assault today when he repeatedly slapped another man over an argument regarding the popular Subaru BRZ and Scion FRS compact sports cars.

The victim, who wished to remain anonymous said he was leaving The PCC Natural Food Market and getting into his Scion FRS when a local IT Engineer by the name of Robert Paulson who was standing next to his Subaru BRZ in the same lot, began to belittle the victim’s choice in cars. The victim brushed off the insults but when the perpetrator said, “You’re probably gonna stance that piece of shit out like every other ricer” was when the victim decided that was the last straw.
The victim told Paulson, “They’re basically the same car I don’t know what you’re so peeved about, who cares?” This apparently enraged Paulson who then stormed over to the victim’s car, pulled him out, and began slapping him while screaming, “THE BRZ HAS DUAL CLIMATE CONTROL AND LED DAYTIME RUNNING LIGHTS!”
The victim attempted to defend himself from the attack by pushing away the crazed assailant but was slapped repeatedly. The victim finally managed to fight back and swung a haymaker that landed squarely on Paulson’s nose, promptly breaking it along with his Warby Parker glasses.

“He just crumbled to the floor muttering how his BRZ had ‘better styling’ and ‘navigation’ standard”. “I tried to help him up but he called me a ‘Scion fan boy ricer’ and pushed me away, I stayed with him until the police came”. Police say the victim was right to defend himself and no charges were filed. Paulson was taken into custody after receiving medical treatment.